However, there are many people who never get there.  I know that I was terrified at my first conference presentation, but because I survived it intact and because I got good feedback, it gave me the courage(?) to go back and try again.

So anyway, I’m looking at my son the other day, who was getting all excited about his own presentation (he’s 9). The differences between his and mine? He’s a child and his presentation is called ‘Show and Tell’.

We all remember ‘Show and Tell’ at school. How we would get excited, particularly after Christmas, birthdays and holidays, at being able to tell our classmates all about the wonderful new thing we got from said occasion. We would extol its virtues and proudly show it off without fear of judgement or ridicule.

What happened to the excitement we used to have when presenting “Show and Tell”?

Are we more concerned about the opinions of our audience than we were then? Maybe, but if we got a bad review then, we shrugged it off and either dished it back to the bad reviewer when it was their turn, or came up with something even grander at next “Show and Tell”.

Are we less excited about the subject of our presentation than we were at “Show and Tell”? Could be, but if we aren’t excited, then why aren’t we? We do really great stuff in libraries and we get the chance to present on these things, because other people think they’re great too.

What else is there? Can we step back to our childhood and recapture that confidence and excitement we had for “Show and Tell” and bring them into our presentations today? Can you imagine if every presenter at a conference had that? It would make for an amazing conference – over the top maybe, but I imagine you wouldn’t be able to help but get excited about what they were presenting on.

So can we get past the adult blocks that stop us from presenting or presenting well? A little bit of childhood magic might just be the trick. I’ll have to try using that mindset next time I present – I’ll let you know what happens.

Since I attended the Aurora Leadership Institute in February this year, I have been thinking more seriously about my profession and where I want to go with it. I absolutely love being a librarian and love my job. I also love my family with all my being. I have been able to balance these two passions quite successfully by working part-time for the past ten years – since my eldest was born.

But now I find I want to do more with my profession. Not that I have been quiet or anything (lol). I have presented at lots of seminars, a few conferences and am starting to get a few things published and I’m enjoying all that immensely and have made a lot of professional contacts and good friends out of that. But that’s feeling like its not enough anymore. I want to do more as a librarian, see if I can make more of an impact on our profession and in a library service and I can’t do that as well as I would like, working part-time at a lower middle-management level position. So that means going back to full-time work and all the impacts that would have on me and my family.

I love what I do, let’s make that clear. So I guess it seems a bit selfish to want more. Maybe that’s one of my struggles.

The other is my family, in particular my kids. I made a decision after Aurora that I would start looking for full-time employment, at a more senior level in 2010. That would give my husband and I time to adjust to the idea and for me to help get the kids ready for the change. The problem is that they’re already keen for the change (although I’m sure they don’t understand all the implications), its me that’s struggling with the concept.

We have been getting the kids ready by letting them take some more responsibility – in the main, in getting to and from school by themselves.  When I don’t work, I had been dropping them and collecting them from school – they in now doing that for themselves (with a lot of checks and balances in place of course – I’m still a neurotic mother ).  They are loving it. They keep asking me when they can go to the next step.

I’m the one who is holding back, because I’m going to miss this so much.  I know its going to change anyway as they grow older and become more independent, but I find that I am trying to hold onto this moment in their lives as long as possible. Again, what you would expect from a mother, but not what I would have expected of myself.

Although I have the greatest respect for stay-at-home mum’s, I knew early on that it wasn’t something I could do. By the time I had been home 6 months with my newborns, I was going stir crazy.  Working part-time has given me the best of both worlds and allowed me to be a better mother as a result. For that I am truly grateful, to both my husband  and my workplace for giving me the opportunity to do this.

So 10 years on, its time for a change and time to deal with all the struggles it entails. I know I can make a difference in my profession and I know there will be differences at home, I just hope that we can all adapt to it as we have done in other situations before.

Anyway, as ever, this blog has been a place to help me get my thoughts straight on something I have been mulling over.  If you have gone through a similar process, I would love to hear how you have managed it and whether it has worked out for you and your family – both personally and professionally. An encouragement or a caution if you please – either way they would be much appreciated.

I am in the process of finishing up one conference paper, reviewing a journal article on the basis of peer review and researching for another conference paper. Both conference papers have to be submitted for publication in the proceedings, so a full paper is required.

Lesson number 1 – writing is not as easy as it may seem. Or rather, good writing isn’t. I have come to the conclusion that I need to be inspired, or at least greatly motivated to be able to write half-way decently. Which probably explains why my blogging tends to be sporadic, rather than regular posts, as I am not always motivated to write.

Lesson number 2 – I can write when the pressure is on, but generally its not very good. Point in case, the paper I am polishing now I had trouble starting, but I got it down. When I went back to review it, I was amazed to see how bad it was – of course, I went back to in a time of motivation, so I was seeing it through more creative and critical eyes.

Lesson number 3 – good writing will take you over. When I feel like writing, I will write everywhere. So not only am I working on those three things, but I’m blogging here and I will be going off to post on some other blogs as well, with items that have been sitting in my to-do pile for a while.

© 2008 Digital Inspiration

Lesson number 4 – I can be as temperamental as any artist. Writer’s block seems to happen for me on a regular basis and in those times (with arm across forehead and dramatic flair) I just can’t work!

Lesson number 5 – Distractions are a problem only if my writing motivation is lacking. If I’m having trouble writing, then anything will distract me, but television and a book – any book, are key distractors. When I’m motivated, nothing will distract me, in fact it will be hard to keep me away from the computer.

Lesson number 6 – I create best on computer. I learnt to touch type in high school, one of the best skills I ever learned. Now, all those decades later and still with a healthy typing speed, I find I write better with the keyboard than with pen and paper. My fingers type well with the thoughts flowing through my head and they don’t get as tired as they do if I am writing the same amount with pen and paper.

Lesson number 7 – I review better on paper. Again back to the paper I am polishing. It was created on computer, but when I went back to re-read it, I was better able to do so on paper. Then out came the red pen and I went to town on it. Don’t know why that is, but that’s the way it is.

Lesson number 8 – I have to believe that what I am writing will be good. I can put out some good content, not from the very word go obviously, but I can get down what I want to say in a way that people call relate to. Not that I am anywhere in the same league as great authors, in either the wider publishing world or even the library publishing sphere, but unless I believe that I can communicate in a way that people will be engaged by, then its not going to happen at all.

Lesson 9 – I am enjoying writing more than I thought I would. Despite the anxiety caused by writer’s block and fast approaching deadlines, when the mood takes me I really enjoy putting my hands to the keyboard and creating content. Not that I think I would ever make a career out of it, but rather it gives me the ability to express my passion for what I am doing and to share that with an audience who hopefully relates to it.

Lesson number 10 – there will be many more lessons as I continue to learn about writing. I am very fortunate to have a range of opportunities to hone my craft. As I continue to look for and take up these opportunities and learn from my experiences and those of others, my writing will continue.

So these are my learnt on the fly lessons. Would love to hear of your writing experiences and other lessons you have learnt. By doing so, you help me with lesson 10! Thanks!

I have wondered quite a bit about how I can separate myself from them for this length of time. Although I will be in regular contact with them through email, IM and mainly Skype (with a web cam of course), it is still not the same as being here. Its a great opportunity, I know, but there has to be something more there to make me choose this separation.

And there is. I am passionate about my work. I am passionate about my library’s website and making virtual services available to our patrons. I have been passionate about virtual services since I created our first library website in 1996 (which won an award from our State Library in that same year!). My passion has not changed, just been put on the back burner whilst I started my family and put my career on hold. Now that my children are a bit older and need me less demandingly, my passion is back with a passion!

I have always been passionate about being a librarian, but never put it into perspective much until I read a recent post on Creating Passionate Users, one of my new favourite non-library blogs. In “Don’t ask employees to be passionate about the company“, Kathy Siera points out that it is not the workplace that you should be passionate about, but the work.

And that’s what it is for me. Not that my library is a bad place to work – its not. They have given me the opportunity to do the sort of work I love doing, with the flexibility of part-time hours and being close to home. I’m a good, reliable employee, giving them dedication, good work and more – its a good business arrangement. And as Kathy points out and as my library is doing, its about tapping into that passion and supporting staff in it. The resulting outcomes will be great, for the individual, for the work and for the company/organisation.

I’m going on Monday, passionate about what I am going to do but also leaving behind another thing that I am passionate about – my family. Their support has been amazing though and so I am going. Expect to see a lot more posts over the next 4 weeks, as I blog about all the things I learn during the study tour and attendance at Computers in Libraries 2007. I’m sure it will be more than just about virtual services.